Ladies and Gentlemen! In my hands I hold a box that can unlock your every desire
But...
...At a cost!
Re:Set is an anime inspired webcomic by azureXtwilight about Michelle Vinson, a lonely and unhappy girl, who oneday opens Pandora's box and unleashes demons back into the world. She makes a deal with Sloth and it changes her world and ours.
Rating
Get ready to have your expectations reset!
Raves
Character
Michelle curses like a sailor and wants to fight demons. It's a stark contrast when we meet her in chapter 3 versus the first one. When she's introduced, she seems to play to a lot of anime tropes: twin tails, chibi faces, and school uniform. All of these tropes are subverted by chapter 3 when she really lets loose. At first it felt out of character, but I was glad to see my expectations shattered in this regard. My only issue with Michelle: I don't understand her motives or goal in making a deal with Sloth.
Art
The art is colorful, lush, and beautiful. It isn't without its flaws -- there are some bodies that are anatomically stretched and distorted in odd ways, but every effort is made to make Re:Set appear cinematic and full of motion and action. It feels very anime even down to the occasional use of chibi faces for a chuckle or two.
Vibrant reds in this scene. Lots of cool cinematic effects throughout the comic.
Video
In fact...
Check out the trailer for Re:Set, I thought it was really cool to hear voice actors portray the characters and see motion graphics for the characters.
Use of Audio
I know folks generally hate having random audio pop up when they're viewing a website.I didn't expect it towards the end of chapter 2, but it worked. The audio combined with the imagery really made it come alive in a way that you couldn't do in a traditional manga. Webcomics have the luxury of an infinite canvas, bits of animation, and even the use of audio to give life to the story the author is telling, and it's used effectively here. The music track is anime or visual novel inspired and fits with the comic pages well.
My only issue was that it had to start itself over on the next page. From a technical standpoint you'd want the audio to be able to continue across pages. This means you'd either have to use AJAX to load pages or have the audio sit in some pop-up window or iframe. AJAX loading of pages would be a very custom code solution. Pop-up windows and iframes might get AdBlocked ruining the effect.
BTW, another page in the comic uses audio too, but one drawback: if I'm reading the comic fast, it may not give the audio a chance to load. I only noticed that another page in the story had audio because it had fully loaded in time for me to hear it while I was deciding if I wanted to crop that image for this review.
The first three chapters shift in tone and made them feel disjointed. In chapter 1, Michelle gets the box and ends up making a Faustian deal with Sloth, the demon in the box. As the chapter progressed, I like how Michelle knew the potential consequences of her actions, and it seemed to be a twist on the usual morality play between mortals and gods. She shuns her guardian Gerald. She knows that the contract will probably cost her something dear, but she does it anyway. Seemingly because anything is better than a neglected life.
That is a really good question, Michelle. (From Chapter 2)
I'm not sure where chapter 2 takes place. The colors shift from the dark tones in chapter 1 to bright blues. There's a lot of fighting with some zombies and at the end Michelle greets Gerald by calling herself the "future world empress," which, if nothing else, is very anime, because I don't know what else it means.
Is that her goal? Is that part of the deal she made with Sloth? She ends up making a deal with Gerald though, which left me scratching my head. At the end of chapter 1, I was expecting the story to be about Michelle and Sloth. This chapters makes me wonder even further why she made a deal with Sloth from the get-go.
EFF YEA.
In chapter 3, the tone and genre of the story seems to shift to something more urban fantasy/paranormal. Chapter 3 onward, Re:Set introduces a ton of characters -- magicians and minions alike. There's a lot more combat, and it takes on a plot to retrieve various artifacts before they can combat the seven deadly sins who have been released into the world. Everything feels coherent as we now have an ensemble cast that we can bounce between and hold a longer story with a McGuffin plotline.
Each of these first three chapters felt like the start of a new story and not a continuation of one narrative. I suppose you could say these changes reset one's expectations as my expectations changed chapter to chapter: I thought it was a snarky, twisted morality play, but then it ended up being a McGuffin hunt in a paranormal urban fantasy anime. There's nothing wrong with any of those genres. My own work even has some sudden and jarring shifts like that in the first few chapters, but having done that and looking back at my own work, I think it hurts it, because I'm not sure where my expectations as a reader are supposed to be. If I find myself latching onto an idea only to have it tossed in chapter 2 and again in chapter 3, then I might bail on the story.
tl;dr: it's a long wind up to get to the main story.
Big Ensemble Cast
New character are introduced to pull the story along. Characters have henchmen characters. There isn't one guy after a McGuffin but teams of magicians.
One issue with all these characters: I don't feel any attachment to the majority of them, but chapter 6 appears to be a bit slower, so maybe we can get a moment to breathe and learn about a few of the characters.
Typography and Speech Bubble Issues
Early in the story, chapter 1 mainly, there are some typography issues I had. Sloth's font face is difficult to read and blends into the background color. I understand the idea of using a different font to show her otherness, but it should be readable at a glance.
There are several bubble placement issues in earlier pages. They would float between panels making it difficult to discern who the text referred too or which order to read the text in. Later on in the webcomic, these issues mostly seem to go away.
Art-wise, when drawing bodies and clothing, sometimes they appear to have hard planar surfaces or sharp edges because of how they're rim-lighted. One example is the abs on Gerald early on in the story.
They're smoothly shaded, but then there's a hard, white rim-light outlining part of his pectoral and abdominal muscles and this makes them appear very sharp looking -- like there's a hard crease between the light and shadow.
The same style of highlighting is used on clothing making it appear blocky and planar.
I know adding a bit of lighting around the edges can make a feature pop, but since most of the work in Re:Set appears painterly it might help to have the highlights blended in with the rest to avoid the odd angular appearance.
Revue
If you're fans of anime serials like Inuyasha that go on for hundreds of episodes, you may enjoy this webcomic, because it has plenty of demons, magic, and enough McGuffin chasing and demon-slaying to last that long.
Hang On To Your...Well, Just HANG ON Because Coming Your Way Is
....Who's got the absinthe? Pour a glass, you're going to want it. This is The Chanterelle and May Life. The creator describes it thusly: The sweetest little sociopaths you know are spreading their darling brand of sadism like a sweet, sweet cancer across a magical kingdom of victims.
You were warned...
The Rating
Sorry kiddos. You may want to stop skipping art class.
The Raves
Now, I'm not saying this work is awful. There's an interesting sense of design. There's some nice attempts at calligraphic flourishes. The characters are cute. And of course, for anyone who likes bright colors the palette is wild and vibrant. There's no shortage of energy or creativity here.
The Razzes
As for what needs work...whoo boy. Let me roll up my sleeves....ooooookay then.
Letter Up
First of all, this comic ABSOLUTELY AND DESPERATELY MUUUUUST improve its font, lettering layout, and kerning. Because-and I hate to say it but I will- I can't read it. I don't mean I don't like to. I don't mean I don't want to. I earnestly can barely decipher the first pages.
Let me speak to the creator: look, I admire the hard work you put into hand lettering. But this isn't working. Please, please head over to Blambot and find a good font.
And PLEASE study layout. Here's a few good pointers.
If you'd like some more tools in this area, try the program ComicLife.
Clean Up Your Act!
Once the lettering is cleaned up, get started on draftsmanship. Because right now, there's a problem with sloppiness. Yes, this is watercolor. Yes, there is something to be said for style. But colors bleeding into other areas and smudges here and there aren't charming. They're clumsy. Beyond that, the pages are so busy and disorganized that readers have trouble following much of anything; visually it's just a colored blur.
Imagine Avatar re-written in an intelligent, soul searching manner. Imagine Tarzan with a brain. That, dear readers, is Hominids. Created by Jordan Kotzebue, this is the adventure tale you always wanted and never got. All the adventure, all the beauty, all the raw living power of the jungle is here, but this time there's a heart and mind to match. This story will steal your heart and entrance your eyes. Prepare yourself for a trek into a tale.
The Rating
A True Tale Spinning Feat.
The Raves
This rave must begin with the art. Gods, the ART! Lush, rich, vibrant and viridian, the artwork of Hominids is stunning. The creator is truly a master of their craft, capturing body language, expression, lighting and atmosphere with a breathtakingly deft hand. The color of a flower, the light on a leaf, the gleam on a blade all draw the reader eyes-first into a living breathing ecosystem. You can almost smell the loam and leaves, breathe the humid fragrances of strange flowers and sweat and feel the grass between your toes. This art is exemplary.
But beautiful artwork is only the first strand of the web. Onto the storytelling, which is more than a match for the art!
Hominids is aptly named, for it is, in effect, a story about people: their loves, their hopes, their dreams, their motivations, and what circumstances and culture can make them into. Angel or monster, heathen or heretic or high priest, it has nothing to do with who you are and everything to do with who your culture THINKS you are. The best people can be twisted into beasts by a culture with a domineering mentality. And the angriest people can be eased by a culture that focuses on peace and cooperation. Hominids is a parable about interacting cultures on one level: what has in other places been called 'the dance of the givers and the takers' is portrayed here. Cultural interaction between cultures with entirely different priorities can very quickly get problematic.
On a creative level, you can't help but be impressed by the creative worldbuilding and scientific dedication that went into this work. For instance, the ecosystem is based on and in some cases drawn directly from anthropological research on what various branches of the human family tree might have been like, and exploring a time when we coexisted is FASCINATING. The subtle attention to plant and animal species appropriate to the setting really impressed me (being a horticulturist in my professional life, people who get plants right make me happy!) and there are many deft and subtle bits of ecological and evolutionary design: for instance, the tree dwellers are perfectly designed for their forest home. They even have dappled patterns on their skin that aids them in concealment. THAT impressed me. This creator did their homework!
On another level, this is a story about the interaction between individuals and the moral code of their culture. In Hominids, people ask eternal questions: do I believe what I was taught? Was I brought up with the right beliefs? What if there's another way? As the characters ask themselves, we're all encouraged to ask these questions along with them, and we all grow stronger for it.
But wait, there are still more layers! There is a spicing of sci-fi hidden under the fantasy of this tale, a hint of an older and far more technological civilization hidden under the vines and creepers, metal under the jungle loam. Now what happened here, the reader must ask. What indeed...
But that hint will remain, for now, just a hint. This vibrant ecosystem of story works holistically: none of these elements jar or push out the others. It's part of what makes such a complex story work.
Another key element is extremely strong writing. The dialogue is crisp, clean and believable, the story moves along at a perfect pace, and there's just the right amount of pleasant, sweet and amusing banter mixed in to keep the story upbeat in the face of deep, difficult and complex themes.
In a true master stroke, every single character is well-rounded, strong and believable in their motivations: serious homework having been done is evident again in the careful use of psychological motivators, but this story reads as a STORY, not as a text book, and that's what takes it from good to great. You can understand and sympathize with every single character, even the ones you despise. And that is true greatness in storytelling.
The Razzes
There's not a lot to be said against this comic: it's stunning. But a few little areas could use some polishing up.
First off, dearest creator, when you've made something as AMAZING as this it doesn't deserve the rookie mistake of missing a page favicon. I'd add one as soon as possible. As a reader I noticed this little detail when, flipping through the tabs on my taskbar, I couldn't find the one for Hominids at first. Because it had a blank favicon that looks like any other neglected waif of a page. Let's fix that!
Simply put this code into the header of your site's HTML:
and replace 'example' with the url where you store your image. Done and dusted. Your icon should be 160 by 160 and say something about your page....for Hominids, might I suggest a leaf? The only other thing I might suggest is a little work on tangent lines and dialogue layout. Occasionally the reader's eye is confused about the direction of speech in a conversation. The creator has color coded the speech, which helps enormously, but careful attention to word bubble placement is still essential.
Always remember that English readers read up to down, left to right. Throw that off even a little and you have confused eyeballs.
The Revue
A wonderous and enchanting MUST READ. Fern Gulley for adults, Avatar for intellectuals. Enjoy!
Four kids, faced with an onslaught of invading forces, take
up arms to save their country and loved ones…
The Rating
This comic has nothing about it that stands out as
its best feature. Every aspect of its quality is poor and has seen no meaningful improvement in 17 chapters.
The Raves
Judging by the comments, Simon Nero does have a
dedicated fan or two. But I don’t see anything here that I can
recommend as a major selling point. Instead, I will attempt to summarize the story for curious
onlookers.
The main character, Simon, witnesses a horde of robots (Or
maybe just people in armor? It’s hard to tell.) attack his home and kill his
mother. While his father fights the robots off, his friend, Diana, rescues him
by using a crystal that somehow teleports them far away from the attack.
Meanwhile, Kendrick, a man who fights with a power called Dark Armor, saves a
girl named Rin from the attack, escaping as the invaders round up their
captives onto a slave ship. They meet up with his brother, Xavier (who has the same
Dark Armor powers), and Levy, a scientist. Diana meanwhile tells Simon her
personal backstory, which…really doesn’t make sense, given that he was there to
witness said backstory. It really just serves to drive home that she used to not have friends and also that she has a crush on Simon.
Eventually, the separate groups converge in the city of
Octavius, far from the scene of the invasion, and Levy proceeds to beat Simon
up for not being able to protect his mother. Diana (understandably) is enraged
and attacks Levy, which gets her knocked out for her efforts. Somehow, this
leads to Levy and Kendrick deciding to train these kids to go to battle, and
the kids agree to this. Unfortunately, before they can proceed, they have to deal with Xavier's powers turning him into an unstable, bloodthirsty monster. This intricate problem is solved by punching him in the face.
A three-year time skip ensues and the kids reunite (the boys
and girls are separated during training to, in the comic’s own words, “prevent
distraction”). What follows is two and a half chapters of nothing but the
characters sparring. And for some reason, suddenly now the boys and girls are allowed to
spar together because
…whatever.
The city is attacked and the characters boldly go into
battle. It turns out the attack was launched by Hale, Simon’s older brother,
and at this point, I couldn’t even tell you if this character had appeared in
the comic before or not. Let’s just assume this was supposed to be a plot
twist. Either way, the fight ends with Kendrick dying and the characters making
a tactical retreat and staying with Simon’s aunt and uncle. While making new
plans, the group learns that Levy and her experiments are the secret behind
Kendrick and Xavier’s powers, and Hale was apparently an experiment gone terribly
wrong. And that’s where I’m going to stop the summary.
There is a prequel, which you can also find on Tapasticor on the series blog. I won't be reviewing that today, but if you enjoy this story, you will most likely want to read the prequel, which covers more ground on the characters and setting.
I guess
if I had to choose anything at all about the comic that stands out, it would be the
Dark Armor. It’s interesting that it has a tendency to turn an otherwise
ordinary person into a violent berserker. That’s hardly an original concept, but it’s not a bad
one.
Now, the wonderful thing about webcomics is the high accessibility.
Anyone can make a webcomic. There’s no minimum standard, and I strongly believe
that should continue to be the case. Shutting the door even slightly undermines
one of the biggest merits of the medium as a whole, its unfiltered,
unrestricted freedom to be creative and to express creativity. So, slowmostevo,
if creating this webcomic makes you happy, by all means don’t take this
admittedly bleak review as an indication that you should stop. But if you want
to attract more of an audience, you’re going to have to do better than this.
The Razzes
Simon Nero is in need of massive improvements in just about every
aspect except for the website, since
the comic is hosted on Tapastic. A somewhat plain-looking site with an irksome
archival system, but it’s still functional and simple to use. The fact that the
comic is at least accessible is the
reason I gave it a 1 instead of a 0; whatever I might think of the comic, I’ve
still seen webcomics of a similar (lack of) quality with far worse choices in
platform.
The Eight Deadly Words
“I don't care what happens to these people.”
This is about the worst thing you can ever get as feedback.
See, in a character-driven story, which I am assuming this comic is meant to
be, having a cast the audience doesn’t care about means the audience won’t care
about the story, either. How do you make people care about what happens to your
characters? Well, for one thing, you need to make them sympathize with the
characters.
You might be thinking that means the reader needs to feel
sorry for them. And you’d be wrong. Sympathy isn’t derived from seeing trauma
after trauma piled onto a character. Sympathy comes from being able to relate
to the characters. They need to act and think like a real person would. And for that, you need to learn about character development.
Character Development
Let’s start with a simple exercise. Look at these 100
Character Questions and see how many of them you can answer. The first step to writing a good character is understanding who
they are. The next step is understanding motivation. What drives your character
is as vital to the story as any plot device you throw at them. The problem is,
some of your characters have shallow motivations. The girls, for example, seem
to get easily distracted by romance in situations where a character really
shouldn’t be thinking about that. These are people in life or death situations!
You need to make them take it more seriously.
You also have some characters who are extremely unlikable. Being boring is one thing, but being outright detestable, especially for a non-villain character, is a big problem. Levy is the biggest offender of them all. Having her beat up two teenagers is not a good way to endear an adult character to the audience. It doesn’t make her seem “serious” or “stern”, it makes her seem cruel and abusive.
On the other hand, you have Simon, who seems driven by his desire to protect his country, and also his guilt at failing to protect anyone. That's honestly not a bad starting point, but these personality traits only seem to come into play when the plot decides it's important for him to feel guilty. Otherwise, he shows little personality beyond being blandly nice. There's not much progression on how he deals with his trauma, nor does he seem to have a goal beyond the vague "save my country." But why does he want to save his country? Why does he care about saving his family? What attachments does he have? How did he feel about them? What personal goals and desires did he have that were forced aside when his home was attacked? Ultimately, we don't know much about who he is, just what he does. And what he does is run away, train, battle, run away...later, rinse, repeat. It's time to start exploring why these events matter to him and what the stakes are.
Pacing and Plot
Pacing is another major problem with the writing. You have
this tendency to rush through conflicts without properly developing them. For
example, Xavier's Dark Armor-included bloodlust being resolved by simply punching him is what we call a deus ex
machina. You can’t just throw in cheap fixes like that. Conflict in a story is good, but not if the resolution is contrived or anticlimactic. Furthermore, it seems that Xavier's Dark Armor going out of control only happens when it's convenient. He doesn't go into a frenzy during sparring, battle, or any other event that would likely trigger it. It makes the potential threat of his Dark Armor seem insubstantial and the singular event where it does go out of control look like rushed filler.
A lot of the comic seems like filler, in fact. Like a lot of shounen manga, you draw out fight scenes
for a long time, but many of the fights seem to accomplish nothing. The sparring matches are the biggest
offenders, seemingly intended to show how the characters have grown, but not really demonstrating any growth other than them apparently being better at fighting. The fight scenes might be more enjoyable if the art was better, but
the visuals aren’t exciting enough to make the action fun to read. Instead, it
just becomes a big empty hole in the story where nothing happens. Besides, action for the sake of action doesn't work well even when it does look good. Without a purpose that brings about story progress, it's nothing but pointless violence.
Here's another exercise for you: can you answer the journalistic questions as they apply to the plot? These questions are tied closely with the 100 Character Questions from before. The events of your story are mainly instigated by character actions, so it's important that you understand your cast and be able to answer who and what made things happen, and why, when, where, and how. These are simple, exceedingly direct questions, but being able to answer them is vital.
Sequential Art Essentials
The art needs massive improvement. I’m going to hit on what
I see as the most vital aspects you should work to improve on and offer you
some good, solid resources you can learn from. To get you started, I suggest
reading Understanding
Comicsby Scott McCloud. It’s one of the best primers on sequential art out there.
I also recommend you take some
art classes. Start with something basic like beginner drawing, or a figure
drawing class that provides live models. The best way to learn how to draw well
is to learn how to draw something as it is, and not as you imagine it. Cartoon
art isn’t meant to look exactly like real life, but having a good foundation in
practicing still life and model drawings is an essential foundation for any
aspiring artist.
Composition
This is an all-important principal to any medium of art.
Composition is defined as the way an image is arranged, such that the eye
travels the picture. Perhaps you’ve heard of the golden spiral, also known as
the golden ratio. It looks like this:
Notice how this asymmetrical shape grows in size at an
exponential rate. This shape is naturally pleasing to the human eye and we tend
to follow its movement from the inside-out. This pattern appears quite
frequently in nature.
It's also common in art. Not every example of this spiral pattern is as clear-cut as what you see here,
but the point I’m making is that good composition has a central point that
immediately draws the eye, and the rest of the image follows a roughly circular
motion around the image. The golden spiral is merely a mathematical concept to
explain why certain compositions are more pleasing to look at. Now let’s
compare these images I showed you to a random section of your comic.
Ah. You see now how unbalanced this is? In the first panel,
you have a character cut in half by a panel. In the next, you have her dangling
out by her leg. In the third, there’s a huge empty space that makes the shot
look bottom-heavy. The fourth panel is probably the best-composed, but it would
have looked even better as a bust shot, bringing her further up the panel. In
all of these shots, the eye is stuck in one spot. There’s no background, no
interesting angles, it’s just one singular piece of the panel occupied by a
character surrounded by empty space. I’m not saying every last panel needs to
follow the golden ratio, but it’s a good starting principle to give more
consideration to how you compose these shots.
If you want to read more about this concept, check out this article
on emptyeasle.com. The site has a lot of useful tutorial besides this one.
Aside from that, there are also serious problems with the composition in terms of understanding what the characters are doing. In comics, composition also refers to the readability of the action, and your readability is confusing. Even stick figures can be composed in such a way that it's easy to understand what's happening. In fact, we see xkcd do that on a regular basis. The trick is to clearly show where everything is in relation to everything else. The panels have this sense of detachment. Action doesn't clearly flow from one shot to the next. Which brings me to my next point...
Gestures
If you’re going to insist on drawing action scenes, then you must understand gesture. For starters, watch this video.
Notice how there’s an emphasis on curves. Your art is stiff
and angular, but the human body tends toward round, squishy shapes. You need to
loosen up your line work a lot. Just look at how static this shot is.
Improving your anatomy would be a welcome change, but if you
practice gestures, you’ll find yourself naturally getting better at anatomy in the
process. Trust me, your action scenes will improve by leaps and bounds if you
take the time to practice gestures on a regular basis. But lest you think I'm suggesting you need realism to make something dynamic, remember, even stick figures can be effective at conveying movement.
I cannot stress this enough. If you want to draw action, learn to draw gestures.
Lettering
This is one part writing and one part visuals. First of all,
your writing is full of typos and grammar mistakes. You badly need to either
spend more time editing, or get somebody to beta read for you. The only thing I
like about the lettering is the rough texture of the sound effects. It looks jarring and loud, which is exactly how it should look.
The dialog font you’re using for the later portions of the comic is also good, but you
need to work on the shapes of the word bubbles. You seem to be stuck on either circles or…whatever
this is.
The text size also varies without rhyme or reason. You
should try to stick with a standard size indicating regular volume.
A change in font size normally indicates a change in
volume, but that’s not happening in this scene. Pick a standard size that’s
easy to read and stick with it. Don’t change it just so you can fit it all
inside the bubble. Make the bubble fit the text and don’t make the text larger
or smaller unless you’re trying to convey that somebody is shouting or
whispering.
But mostly, please work on those typos and maybe take a
writing class to learn how to write dialog better, because nothing about the
way the characters talk sounds remotely natural. I could go on about other specific
ways the art and writing don’t deliver, but working on these things before all
else will help put you on the track to improvement.
The Revue
We all have to start somewhere, and most of us start at the
bottom. It’s going to take a lot of practice and dedication to improve this
comic, but if this is really something you love to do, then it’s worth it to
try a little harder.
The stars are out! Quick, make a wish! What’s that? You wished for a webcomic? Well, good news…
The Rating
If you can power through the less-than-stellar first volume, it
does start to shine brighter as the creator improves in both artistic and
storytelling skill. But boy, that hurdle is hard to ignore.
The Raves
The main premise of Tsukiko: The Moon Child's Wish is pretty simple. Tsukiko is a girl who
descended from the stars and is destined to save the world. You’ve heard it all
before, you know the drill. What sets it apart from other comics like it? Well,
if you like cosmic, dreamlike themes and imagery, it’s definitely got that
going for it. The entire comic, even in its early stages, had a cute,
imaginative world. Just look at the design of this place!
The black and white art improves over time, becoming cuter
and more consistent, but you know what this comic really needed? What it was
absolutely demanding all along?
Now that's more like it! I could see in the chapter covers
that the author knew how to use color quite well, and this watercolor style really works wonders. It makes absolutely every aspect of the art, from the expressions to
the backgrounds, come to life. Bringing full color into the comic was without a
doubt one of the best choices the creator has made for this project.
The art isn’t the only improvement, either. The pacing of
the writing also gets a lot better over time, as does the development of the
main character. The Chosen One archetype is generally hard to write well because of its cliche, contrived nature. For that reason, I appreciate that Tsukiko starts out demanding and full of herself, as any real child would be if they grew up being told they were practically Heaven's gift to mankind. Through her adventures, she grows out of her selfish arrogance into a plucky, heroic young lady who, despite still being naive and temperamental, has become increasingly lovable. The emotional depth of the characterization also becomes more compelling over time.
Who would have thought a foppish pretty-boy like Lord Valentine would deliver
one of the biggest emotional gut-punches
this story has had to offer so far?
The comic has a fun ensemble cast that hides layers of complexity under a goofy facade. As the story unfolds, it
becomes increasingly clear that most, if not all of the characters are
harboring some sort of emotional baggage or personal burden. There are the obvious ones, like Aiken, who is the last of his
kind. Then there’s Knight Mage, one of Tsukiko’s allies, whose source of power
turns out to be the same forces she’s fighting against. And there’s the very
real possibility that her success in defeating those forces could endanger him.
All in all, I might be giving the comic a 5 as a whole, but
it deserves an A for effort lately. Keep up the good work!
The Razzes
I mentioned some of the massive improvements the comic has
made, and not only do I consider these “improvements,” but I truly think they
are part of what makes the comic good now.
Erstwhile, the comic was…not so good. The pacing was rushed
and awkward and the jokes were forced and unfunny. Even now, most of the humor seems to boil down to "character comically overreacts to something." The first three chapters were mainly "humorous" bickering playing ping-pong with the "serious" moments. The first sign that the writing had some genuine potential didn’t really
strike me until the latter part of Chapter
3, when Tsukiko meets Aiken. Here, we get our first taste of some genuine selflessness and heroism from Tsukiko and the introduction of a character with a rather sad backstory
who adds some much-needed gravitas to the disorganized fluff that was the first few
chapters.
Don’t get me wrong, I get the gist of what he’s saying and
the comic provides translations, but this kind of awkward dialog gets in the
way of the emotions the writing wants to convey. Most comics depicting a
character who speaks in another language or has an accent just uses a different
font instead. I personally prefer that approach. To be honest, all of the dialog is, in general. It's often unnatural-sounding. My understanding, though, is the creator is from another country, so if English isn't their first language, then it's understandable that the dialog might have some problems. To that end, I suggest getting some help from a beta reader who speaks English fluently. Having another person checking the writing is a great source of constructive input.
This next bit of criticism comes from a somewhat subjective
place and not all readers might agree with this, but certainly there are those
who would find it disconcerting that Tsukiko has a crush on her adoptive family’s
eldest son. And lest you think I’m reading too far into it…
It's just…awkward. I know they’re not biologically related, but still. Granted, the story doesn’t seem to focus on this infatuation of hers much anymore, and it’s a plot line I’d happily see vanish
from existence.
While Tsukiko herself becomes more well-rounded, keeping her
verve and charm while growing out of her early selfishness and childish
behavior, not all of the characters seem to experience major personal growth.
For that matter, some of them hardly seem to matter to the plot. For example,
you have Nana, a witch turned into a broom. Funny, but it seems like she exists
only for that joke. Most of the other characters almost seem like window-dressing, irrelevant but for their involvement with Tsukiko. One of the things I like about characters like Valentine, who starts out seeming like a joke, is that we get to see him develop his own personal story separately from her adventures.
The thing is, as the comic goes on, I've come to like these characters. They've got personality and interesting backstories. The little bits of development the comic does throw their way are pretty good, and it's yet another sign of the creator improving with practice. I'm confident they will develop into even more well-rounded people with their own personal journeys.
This last point regards a done deal, but hear me out. Many
aspects of the early chapter art were…pretty substandard. Enough to potentially
turn people off. Things like sloppy inking, bad lettering placement, and
slapstick comedy that really doesn’t work because the art quality makes it hard
to even tell what’s going on. For example:
There were certainly good pages early on, but also a lot of
pages like this—and this was from Chapter 5, right before the end of the Volume
1. Not only is the art a mess, but the grammar is poor and the
dialog is wooden. Now, the improvement curve following the start of the second
volume is remarkable, and I applaud how much the comic has grown, but getting
through the first five chapters was a bit of a grind.
I bet that sounded unfair. And it kind of is. But keep in
mind, readers are not reviewers. They won’t keep reading a webcomic just to see
if it gets better. Which is why, as a reviewer, I am heartily recommending anybody
who sees this on Tapastic to judge this comic by its cover. I assure you all,
the cover is no lie when it comes to how beautiful the art looks once it hits
its stride.
Who can say no to that face?
The Revue
This comic’s biggest flaws are also a testament to its
biggest strength—a creator who is clearly working hard to improve despite
starting out at a very amateur, awkward level. If you like magical
girl-inspired fantasy, give Tsukiko a chance. The steady improvement curve shows
a lot of promise for future installments.
